What the?
Bad day. bad bad day.Why??
Started good. Days always start good. I never wake up and say, I'm gonna eat sweets now.
no no, it starts out great but then I get the flavor, the feel, the longing, give me sugar!!!! More More More!!!
So, I usually I am fine saying no to the big warm homemade camp cookies but today I thought oh i'll nibble one. after that giant cookie and another giant cookie were gone I moved on to the snickerdoodle bars. Then the cupcake from my 7 year olds cupcake decorating class which had enough frosting for a sheet pan! Ice cream, granola bars dipped in peanut butter, processed tyson chicken patties on nice fluffy white buns, multiple chicken sandwiches with fry sauce spread on them. Dark chocolate bar, ginger snap cookies, marshmellows, whatever I could get my hands on.
What the?!
If I'm going down a bad road then lets just go down it, you know what I mean?
but why? Our country is inundated with yummy/death inducing foods.
Is hope possible? Really? Is it no sugar of any kind ever? That doesn't seem to make sense at all. That doesn't feel feasible for a lifestyle but any little TASTE of sugar and I'm outta control!
maybe hormonal? spiritual? emotional? stress eating?
If my house were clean I might eat better. If I excercised regularly I might eat better.
if i lived in a foreign country with no access to sugar i'd eat better. there has to be another way right?
Jesus help me. Help me. help me.
I'm literally 11 pounds away from my husband and I'm so not ok with that. We were 90 pounds apart when we were married.
he tried south beach like 12 years ago but thats the ONLY kind of dietary restriction I think he's ever tried.
Help me Jesus.
I know there is hope.
I know there is.
Help me.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Ding Ding Ding
I'm back in the fight. Round, who knows?
I'm as high or higher in weight than I've ever been! CRAZY!
My husband remains the same weight for the almost 18 years we've been married.
And he doesn't do these cutting all carbs or sugars etc diets.
Is this just the joy of being woman?
Well, I strongly dislike this eating well, losing 7-30 pounds and gaining it all back over and over and over again but I certainly can't keep climbing which is what I'll do if I don't do something.
So.... I weighed in at 207' at the doctors this past week.
Why do i post my weight? Why do I blog and not do some private journal on dropbox?
i have truly no idea. i don't know how to delete a blog so here i go.
My current "new" plan.
I'm having a routine blood draw tomorrow to test for the normal stuff, cholesterol, etc.
After the blood drawer, I'm aiming for whole food plant based diet stuff.
I will eat meat, egg, dairy occassionally but really focus on plants.
I will then try to reschedule another blood draw and see if numbers change.
What do you think?
I'm also going to try to increase exercise. Nothing major. I don't want any of this to be overly major because i want it to be doable.
Bloomsday is a week from today. That'll be fun.
I'm glad to have a week of good eating before it starts.
We had a gluttonous $50 dinner at Golden Corral.
I decided to eat what I wanted and not think about the cost to body, mind and wallet
but rather to enjoy my precious family and the time we had to be together.
I also plan to increase water consumption.
A gallon a day is ridiculous though. I think.
I'm as high or higher in weight than I've ever been! CRAZY!
My husband remains the same weight for the almost 18 years we've been married.
And he doesn't do these cutting all carbs or sugars etc diets.
Is this just the joy of being woman?
Well, I strongly dislike this eating well, losing 7-30 pounds and gaining it all back over and over and over again but I certainly can't keep climbing which is what I'll do if I don't do something.
So.... I weighed in at 207' at the doctors this past week.
Why do i post my weight? Why do I blog and not do some private journal on dropbox?
i have truly no idea. i don't know how to delete a blog so here i go.
My current "new" plan.
I'm having a routine blood draw tomorrow to test for the normal stuff, cholesterol, etc.
After the blood drawer, I'm aiming for whole food plant based diet stuff.
I will eat meat, egg, dairy occassionally but really focus on plants.
I will then try to reschedule another blood draw and see if numbers change.
What do you think?
I'm also going to try to increase exercise. Nothing major. I don't want any of this to be overly major because i want it to be doable.
Bloomsday is a week from today. That'll be fun.
I'm glad to have a week of good eating before it starts.
We had a gluttonous $50 dinner at Golden Corral.
I decided to eat what I wanted and not think about the cost to body, mind and wallet
but rather to enjoy my precious family and the time we had to be together.
I also plan to increase water consumption.
A gallon a day is ridiculous though. I think.
Thursday, April 02, 2015
I never want to eat out again!
And I mean it!
The family went out to texas roadhouse because we had a free kids meal thing.
Why did i order and eat the bloomin onion!?And several rolls with the sweet butter?
I didn't even want dinner!
And we spent SO MUCH MONEY!!
I felt...dirty. I went the bathroom and felt like an alcholic who had just gotten drunk, yet AGAIN.
Like could I go potty enough to allow me more room to eat when I get back to the table.
Disgusting. Gluttonous. Awful! yet it feels so "normal" in our current society.
I would have loved to have spent the $50 on soccer goals for the kids and had a picnic at the park.
UGH!
My 13 year old gets in the car and finishes her dinner that was in the doggie bag. She announces that moving around allowed her more room to fit more food in.
REALLY!?!?! This is what we're training and teaching and modeling for our kids?
This is what we are showing them we do!?
I want it to end. I want it to end NOW. I want it to end years ago.
Is it hopeless? Am I helpless?
The family went out to texas roadhouse because we had a free kids meal thing.
Why did i order and eat the bloomin onion!?And several rolls with the sweet butter?
I didn't even want dinner!
And we spent SO MUCH MONEY!!
I felt...dirty. I went the bathroom and felt like an alcholic who had just gotten drunk, yet AGAIN.
Like could I go potty enough to allow me more room to eat when I get back to the table.
Disgusting. Gluttonous. Awful! yet it feels so "normal" in our current society.
I would have loved to have spent the $50 on soccer goals for the kids and had a picnic at the park.
UGH!
My 13 year old gets in the car and finishes her dinner that was in the doggie bag. She announces that moving around allowed her more room to fit more food in.
REALLY!?!?! This is what we're training and teaching and modeling for our kids?
This is what we are showing them we do!?
I want it to end. I want it to end NOW. I want it to end years ago.
Is it hopeless? Am I helpless?
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