Two days of detox down and I could not be happier.
I love not having sugar. I feel free. I see cookies and it's not even a tempation
because it's predetermined, it's decided, i'm not going to have it.
The cravings appeared to stop instantly. My sugar levels have been very balanced.
I biked to the Kroc today and swam for half hour and biked home.
My legs/knees/ankles are sore and I may never bike it again but I'm glad I did.
11+ miles biking total.
Made a shake tonight with a little heavy cream, some half and half, 3 bananas, cocoa powder, teeny bit of vanilla extract, organic natural peanut butter, ice cubes. It looked JUST like the chocolate frosty the kids were eating.
blah blah blah, nothing really worth noting other than to say, I'd like to go the rest of my life without sugar.
I'm much happier without it.
I hope I stay "dry". I couldn't even be a social "drinker".
side secret story - a 'friend' spent the weekend in jail cause of a repeat offense DUI. the friend knew they had an alcohol addiction but thought they'd be able to socially drink. truth is, I'm thinking they should stay dry for life. and it hit me, I should probably stay "dry" (sugar-free) for life. I don't think i can handle it. A little taste one day, seems so innocent and it's only time till lunch is cookies and dinner is brownies. Freedom comes with boundaries.
I thought of this yesterday when i went to see my son at the playground and he seemed a mile away in a far far corner with friends by the fence. Clear boundaries allow for freedom to enjoy the whole playground. I've heard how kids on playgrounds without boundaries all stay closer in and don't venture out because the boundaries aren't clear.
blah blah blah, enough for now.
I'm very happy.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all
Unless it's sugar, maybe.
Well, detox it is and detox it needs to be.
It isn't a first, but would be great if it were a last.
I need to detox. badly. eating cookies and donuts for actual meals instead of real food.
It's outta control!
I'm looking forward to doing this under the direction of Jessica Campbell with food foundations.
21 days starting Monday the 21rst.
I'm as big as ever. I hate to think I'll go down #30 or more and be right back here in 6 months but maybe that's better than just staying here or potentially going higher?
God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things that i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
What a great prayer. I may have to cling to this a bunch.
The truth is, sugar does a have an incredible hold on me. It is my master. I want to be free. I want to not be under it's hold again. I cannot go it alone. I know there is hope. though it seems impossible at the moment.
I'm getting a year membership to our Kroc today.
I do fantasize about living in a poverished country where exercise is ridiculous because life is exercise and food is sparce and non-gmo and advertising doesn't exist or screens at all for the matter. Life is just that, life. Not as complicated. Closer to dependancy on our Creator. "Yes husband, the life expectancy is half there what it is here." but is it really living if its rush rush rush,eat eat eat, feel sick, underslept, busy busy, ungratified? Maybe half a life gratified is better than a whole life unfulfilled? Thats enough ranting for one day.
Well, detox it is and detox it needs to be.
It isn't a first, but would be great if it were a last.
I need to detox. badly. eating cookies and donuts for actual meals instead of real food.
It's outta control!
I'm looking forward to doing this under the direction of Jessica Campbell with food foundations.
21 days starting Monday the 21rst.
I'm as big as ever. I hate to think I'll go down #30 or more and be right back here in 6 months but maybe that's better than just staying here or potentially going higher?
God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things that i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
What a great prayer. I may have to cling to this a bunch.
The truth is, sugar does a have an incredible hold on me. It is my master. I want to be free. I want to not be under it's hold again. I cannot go it alone. I know there is hope. though it seems impossible at the moment.
I'm getting a year membership to our Kroc today.
I do fantasize about living in a poverished country where exercise is ridiculous because life is exercise and food is sparce and non-gmo and advertising doesn't exist or screens at all for the matter. Life is just that, life. Not as complicated. Closer to dependancy on our Creator. "Yes husband, the life expectancy is half there what it is here." but is it really living if its rush rush rush,eat eat eat, feel sick, underslept, busy busy, ungratified? Maybe half a life gratified is better than a whole life unfulfilled? Thats enough ranting for one day.
Sunday, September 06, 2015
to detox or not to detox
The options...
1. Remain as is, attempting to not eat sweets, failing miserably, suffering shame and mood swings and moving progressively higher on the scale and clothes sizes.
2. Get serious about trying harder (already attempted countless times) and most likely failing as that is at a 100% rate of failure so far.
3. Detox - for real detox. Again. This has been successful when I've attempted it though I eventually quit but it was very successful when it lasted and it offered me hope.
If sugar is really 8 times the addictive quality as crack/cocaine no wonder it's so hard!
If this is even a totally false statistic, it's still, really hard to change.
The envy comes in right now because a heroine addict is capable of removing the drug from their life longtime when they are free from the addiction however....
A sugar addict or recovering sugar addict will ALWAYS have their "drug" right under their noses, for the most part, for the rest of their life! unless they go live in the woods apart from normal social interactions.
None the less, I fear the only option is a detox. a total and true detox.
How to make a detox a life long way.
I don't know.
Before, it helped me to think of myself as a type of sugar sensitivity almost like a peanut allergy in that it causes negative things to occur in my body and needs to be avoided in order to be healthy.
Now I KNOW freedom is possible. Lifelong, for real freedom, but it's not easy.
I'm considering Jessica Campbells detox, starting Sept 21.
I think, no, i know the key to success, at least for me, is accountability/comraderie.
Bike update, I've been biking almost every night still with the kids and it's been really really nice.
1. Remain as is, attempting to not eat sweets, failing miserably, suffering shame and mood swings and moving progressively higher on the scale and clothes sizes.
2. Get serious about trying harder (already attempted countless times) and most likely failing as that is at a 100% rate of failure so far.
3. Detox - for real detox. Again. This has been successful when I've attempted it though I eventually quit but it was very successful when it lasted and it offered me hope.
If sugar is really 8 times the addictive quality as crack/cocaine no wonder it's so hard!
If this is even a totally false statistic, it's still, really hard to change.
The envy comes in right now because a heroine addict is capable of removing the drug from their life longtime when they are free from the addiction however....
A sugar addict or recovering sugar addict will ALWAYS have their "drug" right under their noses, for the most part, for the rest of their life! unless they go live in the woods apart from normal social interactions.
None the less, I fear the only option is a detox. a total and true detox.
How to make a detox a life long way.
I don't know.
Before, it helped me to think of myself as a type of sugar sensitivity almost like a peanut allergy in that it causes negative things to occur in my body and needs to be avoided in order to be healthy.
Now I KNOW freedom is possible. Lifelong, for real freedom, but it's not easy.
I'm considering Jessica Campbells detox, starting Sept 21.
I think, no, i know the key to success, at least for me, is accountability/comraderie.
Bike update, I've been biking almost every night still with the kids and it's been really really nice.
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